Poem Project
Artist Statement
Reuben William Mutiso Barnes
I approached my poem first by choosing a topic that I would be able to express my feelings through in an emotional and joyful way. So I decided that the one subject that I found so inspiring would be peace, this is because I am the peaceful kind of guy so writing a poem of this subject would be much more complex and simple. These are not the only inspirations though that brought me to choose this topic for my poem, the type of tone that I tend to use would just about only work with a peaceful poem. For example my kind of tone is soft and yet encouraging, now if I were to put this with power or war then it would seem somewhat strange. Peace was also my choice of topic because I found it the most important subject and also the one that most audiences would want to hear. I say this because in my perspective people don’t want to hear about war or the bad things that are in this world, they want to hear something good for once; something that calms their mind and sets them in a fantasy of wonderful sights of grassy field and a world that is secure and whole. This was how I had decided what I was going to write about and also as I wrote this poem I was able to connect with it in a way.
I was able to connect with my poem through many different things because I could relate what I was saying to things that I would like to see in the world to this day. An example would be all of the peace deflecting evil from the land that we live on and eliminating all wars. This was a huge dream for me and while I was typing and refining my poem I really connected with this and put in such word usage to show my fantasy and not just tell it. To do this I used very vivid words that I thought were unique and comforting such as the line “Peace is like a feather blanket encompassing the earth.” This was a line that really made me feel comforted because it is not saying that peace chooses certain locations to stay but everywhere and no one is left out, also it is a soft blanket so that gives it a more heavenly feeling to the whole thing in general. All of these different things helped me connect with my poem but they also helped me start my process of writing it in the first place.
To first start my poem I decided to think about metaphors and similes that I could use; this is because throughout my learning of poems I am able to express how I feel about a certain object through these techniques. I worked on my metaphors by comparing peace with evil and how peace dominates and will defeat evil no matter what. For example I would explain peace as a shield and not a weapon; this is shown in one of my lines “Standing strong as a shelter for those in need. To protect them from evil’s unquenchable greed.” In this line I am explaining that peace is always there to help someone who is in dire need of protection from a blast of evils rage. Now after I had thought of enough metaphors which basically composed my whole poem I began thinking of how to make a rhyme scheme with them so that the flow of the poem was much smoother and would ease into my audience. I decided to make my rhyme go in a order such as (abba cddc) and so on. After I read the poem to myself I made sure that the rhythm was as good as I could make it before I had a peer critique it. And this was the final step, peer critique; I did this by finding classmates that I knew I could trust and who could feel the emotions that I was trying to express. After they had read it I would ask them questions such as “Do I need to make my message more clear or do I need to make the emotion stronger?” or “Are my rhyme schemes cheesy and should I make the words more professional?” All of these questions were essential for me to make my final poem so that it was as strong as can be.
I approached my poem first by choosing a topic that I would be able to express my feelings through in an emotional and joyful way. So I decided that the one subject that I found so inspiring would be peace, this is because I am the peaceful kind of guy so writing a poem of this subject would be much more complex and simple. These are not the only inspirations though that brought me to choose this topic for my poem, the type of tone that I tend to use would just about only work with a peaceful poem. For example my kind of tone is soft and yet encouraging, now if I were to put this with power or war then it would seem somewhat strange. Peace was also my choice of topic because I found it the most important subject and also the one that most audiences would want to hear. I say this because in my perspective people don’t want to hear about war or the bad things that are in this world, they want to hear something good for once; something that calms their mind and sets them in a fantasy of wonderful sights of grassy field and a world that is secure and whole. This was how I had decided what I was going to write about and also as I wrote this poem I was able to connect with it in a way.
I was able to connect with my poem through many different things because I could relate what I was saying to things that I would like to see in the world to this day. An example would be all of the peace deflecting evil from the land that we live on and eliminating all wars. This was a huge dream for me and while I was typing and refining my poem I really connected with this and put in such word usage to show my fantasy and not just tell it. To do this I used very vivid words that I thought were unique and comforting such as the line “Peace is like a feather blanket encompassing the earth.” This was a line that really made me feel comforted because it is not saying that peace chooses certain locations to stay but everywhere and no one is left out, also it is a soft blanket so that gives it a more heavenly feeling to the whole thing in general. All of these different things helped me connect with my poem but they also helped me start my process of writing it in the first place.
To first start my poem I decided to think about metaphors and similes that I could use; this is because throughout my learning of poems I am able to express how I feel about a certain object through these techniques. I worked on my metaphors by comparing peace with evil and how peace dominates and will defeat evil no matter what. For example I would explain peace as a shield and not a weapon; this is shown in one of my lines “Standing strong as a shelter for those in need. To protect them from evil’s unquenchable greed.” In this line I am explaining that peace is always there to help someone who is in dire need of protection from a blast of evils rage. Now after I had thought of enough metaphors which basically composed my whole poem I began thinking of how to make a rhyme scheme with them so that the flow of the poem was much smoother and would ease into my audience. I decided to make my rhyme go in a order such as (abba cddc) and so on. After I read the poem to myself I made sure that the rhythm was as good as I could make it before I had a peer critique it. And this was the final step, peer critique; I did this by finding classmates that I knew I could trust and who could feel the emotions that I was trying to express. After they had read it I would ask them questions such as “Do I need to make my message more clear or do I need to make the emotion stronger?” or “Are my rhyme schemes cheesy and should I make the words more professional?” All of these questions were essential for me to make my final poem so that it was as strong as can be.
Final Poem
Peace Will Strive
Peace is like a feather blanket encompassing the earth
It grows steadily around those who are troubled
Then will luxuriously warm those who have tumbled.
Tumbled into the frostbitten abyss of a new wars birth.
But peace will stand tall as a white ox
Standing strong as a shelter for those in need
To protect them from evil’s unquenchable greed.
Evil will seize silently and quickly, like a sly fox.
As the wind howls, time will gradually pass.
Those who are close will eventually die
But peace will stay drifting in the sky.
Keeping watch on the villainous snake in the grass.
Never underestimate the power of peace
For it is the soaring and magnificent white owl
That is forever and always on the prowl.
This guardian always cares and will never cease.
I now leave this with those who are alive,
Those who suffered and those who never gain.
In any circumstances and through any pain
Peace… will… strive.
Peace is like a feather blanket encompassing the earth
It grows steadily around those who are troubled
Then will luxuriously warm those who have tumbled.
Tumbled into the frostbitten abyss of a new wars birth.
But peace will stand tall as a white ox
Standing strong as a shelter for those in need
To protect them from evil’s unquenchable greed.
Evil will seize silently and quickly, like a sly fox.
As the wind howls, time will gradually pass.
Those who are close will eventually die
But peace will stay drifting in the sky.
Keeping watch on the villainous snake in the grass.
Never underestimate the power of peace
For it is the soaring and magnificent white owl
That is forever and always on the prowl.
This guardian always cares and will never cease.
I now leave this with those who are alive,
Those who suffered and those who never gain.
In any circumstances and through any pain
Peace… will… strive.
Poem Video
Growth as a Poet
Reuben Barnes
Growth as a Poet
The perspective in my poem shifted and became more sophisticated through my drafts because I had changed some of the major component in my poem. For example in my first draft of the poem that I had created it was not very emotional and was far too bland for anyone to think that I was describing peace. However as I continued to move on through the middle drafts I was starting to picture what I wanted to say. As I did this I could picture what I was putting in the poem and then put it into words so that the readers could experience that when they read the poem. Once I had reached the final draft of my poems message was far more sophisticated than it had before, my poem now had emotion, even the audience and myself could connect with the poem.
The first most important change that I made in my poem was the professional language. The language played a huge role in my poem, for example this was shown in my first paragraph in this specific line. “But peace will stay flying in the sky, Keeping watch on the snake in the grass.” After I had received some feedback I decided to spice it up a little with more creative and visionary words so I changed it to this. “But peace will stay drifting in the sky, Keeping watch on the villainous snake in the grass.” After doing so I could picture that part far better, I continued that process with the majority of my lines so that the poem was becoming better.
The second change that I made in my poem was the rhyme that was used throughout it. In my first drafts I had decided to not use a rhyme scheme because I thought that it would be to hard and that it would slow me down. However the deeper I got into my poem the more I realized that if I wanted my message to reach the audience then a rhyme scheme would have to take place. Once I had begun to do so the poem began to flow so much better and the message became much clearer.
The final addition that I made to my poem was creating the pictures that I wished to include in the poem. At first I was thinking of taking my own pictures instead of using Photoshop and taking pictures from the internet. However after thinking about time and quality I decided to use Photoshop which ended up in benefiting me greatly. This is because in Photoshop I am able to have better quality work and it was also a huge time saver. Another large beneficial factor about this program was that it allowed me to help visualize the poem for the audience. Once I had completed making images that had intense detail so that the message was clear my poem was at its best.
Growth as a Poet
The perspective in my poem shifted and became more sophisticated through my drafts because I had changed some of the major component in my poem. For example in my first draft of the poem that I had created it was not very emotional and was far too bland for anyone to think that I was describing peace. However as I continued to move on through the middle drafts I was starting to picture what I wanted to say. As I did this I could picture what I was putting in the poem and then put it into words so that the readers could experience that when they read the poem. Once I had reached the final draft of my poems message was far more sophisticated than it had before, my poem now had emotion, even the audience and myself could connect with the poem.
The first most important change that I made in my poem was the professional language. The language played a huge role in my poem, for example this was shown in my first paragraph in this specific line. “But peace will stay flying in the sky, Keeping watch on the snake in the grass.” After I had received some feedback I decided to spice it up a little with more creative and visionary words so I changed it to this. “But peace will stay drifting in the sky, Keeping watch on the villainous snake in the grass.” After doing so I could picture that part far better, I continued that process with the majority of my lines so that the poem was becoming better.
The second change that I made in my poem was the rhyme that was used throughout it. In my first drafts I had decided to not use a rhyme scheme because I thought that it would be to hard and that it would slow me down. However the deeper I got into my poem the more I realized that if I wanted my message to reach the audience then a rhyme scheme would have to take place. Once I had begun to do so the poem began to flow so much better and the message became much clearer.
The final addition that I made to my poem was creating the pictures that I wished to include in the poem. At first I was thinking of taking my own pictures instead of using Photoshop and taking pictures from the internet. However after thinking about time and quality I decided to use Photoshop which ended up in benefiting me greatly. This is because in Photoshop I am able to have better quality work and it was also a huge time saver. Another large beneficial factor about this program was that it allowed me to help visualize the poem for the audience. Once I had completed making images that had intense detail so that the message was clear my poem was at its best.